What are sadness and depression?

We use the term “sadness/depression” to cover a wide range of feelings. There is a distinction between sadness and depression, as they are not the same thing. Sadness is a very human and important emotion that can happen after an event or a difficult period of time in your life. If it lasts and starts impacting other parts of your life (i.e., work, relationships, etc.), this is when depression may be the cause. 

Answering a few questions can be a great start to examining the impact of your situation:

• • Do you ever feel like you have no motivation to get yourself going with no apparent reason?
  • Does this lack of motivation last longer than a few days or a few weeks?
  • Have you lost your excitement for life, including lack of interest in previously enjoyed activities?
  • Do you struggle with bouts of crying or unhappiness?

Read on to identify if you may have an issue that could be addressed with the help of other resources or a peer mentor. 

Signs and Symptoms 

Signs are what may be observed by others. Symptoms are the things reported by a first responder. Many of the following can be signs or symptoms:

• • Persistent sadness, anxiety, or “empty” feelings.
  • Feeling hopeless or negative.
  • Feeling guilty, worthless, or helpless.
  • Overall feelings of irritability or restlessness.
  • A loss of interest in activities or hobbies that you once enjoyed, which can include sexual activities.
  • A lingering fatigue and decreased energy.
  • Having difficulty concentrating, remembering details of activities, and making decisions.
  • Sleep issues, which can include insomnia (not sleeping), hypersomnia (sleeping too much), and/or early-morning wakefulness.
  • A change in eating habits.
  • Body aches or pains, headaches, and/or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment.
  • Active or passive thoughts of suicide.

Other Issues to Consider

Women’s depression tends to appear more withdrawn and often looks more like an “inward” expression of sadness. This can include feelings of sadness, worthlessness, and excessive guilt. Women’s depression is more often what we think of with a “traditional” depression. Some women may seek out others, especially close family or friends, to talk to. Others may withdraw altogether.

Men’s depression tends to appear more irritable and often looks more like an “outward” expression of anger. This can include moodiness, a loss of interest in once-pleasurable activities, and difficulty sleeping. Men may also be more likely than women to turn to alcohol or drugs when they are depressed. They may become frustrated, discouraged, and sometimes abusive. Some men throw themselves into their work to avoid talking about their depression with family or friends, or they behave recklessly.

Self-Help Goals

Thought Goal: 

• • “I’m depressed or sad because I think (insert problematic thought here)…” 
  • “I can stop or lessen my depression or sadness by thinking… (i.e., About important upcoming events, your children, family or close friends; believing that these tough times will pass, etc.).”

Feeling Goal: 

• • “I’m depressed or sad because I feel (insert problematic feeling here)….”
  • “I can stop or lessen my depression or sadness by feeling… (More hopeful as you can handle difficulties and have done so in the past, supported when you reach out to your family or friends, etc.).”

Behavior Goal: 

• • “I’m depressed or sad because my behavior (insert problematic behavior here)…” 
  • “I can stop or lessen my depression or sadness by behaving… (In ways that make you feel more like you: exercising, eating better, engaging with your loved ones, reaching out when you need someone to talk to, etc.).”

These goals are only examples. Use them as a guide, not an absolute. You know if there is a problem; let now be the time to fix it.

Reaching out for help is never a sign of weakness, but rather one of strength. It may be annoying or frustrating to think about what to do and how to approach it, but it can be done. There are other first responders who understand where you’ve been. If you cannot reach or maintain all of these goals on your own, get connected with a peer support mentor.